Doofus (Not under oath): No, we don’t have any bio-labs in Ukraine. As a matter of fact the government-media complex has refuted that blatant Russian propaganda and assured the American people the Ghost of Kiev has shot down 465 Russian MIG fighters with one arm tied behind his back while wearing an eye patch.

Newland (Under oath): Ukraine has U.S. financed bio-research facilities in place, in fact, we are now quite concerned about the danger they pose. Plus, ahem, with think that Putin might just crack off a bio-weapons attack, coincidentally…